My 99 Cent Halloween

I had never walked into a dollar store looking for Halloween decorations before. Come to think of it, I hadn’t been to a dollar store period since I was old enough to drive. I never bothered to scope out dollar store Halloween stuff, because if Big Lots couldn’t be assed to carry anything remotely dignified, why should I expect a dollar store to?

Boy was I mistaken. Dollar Tree does it right

Dollar TreeDollar Tree masks

Now it goes without saying that what they have to offer isn’t what you’d call “quality” by any stretch of the imagination. But if you think about it, the Halloween decor industry thrives on selling cheap, sub-standard merchandise at a premium – this stuff may be of noticeably lower quality than what you’d find at a Spirit store, for example, but for a 20% drop in quality, you get about a 2000% drop in cost.

Unlike Big Lots Halloween decorations, Dollar Tree didn’t go overly “kiddie”. Naturally they had tons of kid stuff but they also carried dollar store versions of the big boy decorations. Decayed-looking zombie masks, evil rats and birds, skulls, even life -size severed hands and feet! The severed limb market has always been one of the more egregious examples of overpricing, and here they were at a dollar store! Obviously the quality is…. on the low side. But again, only a tad crappier looking than what you’d pay 11 bucks for at Spirit.

Here’s my haul. Note that the little baggie of centipedes is labeled “Night Creatures”. They know how to play to my sympathies.

Dollar Tree haul
Click to embiggen

Four tarantulas, two rats, two crows, a severed hand, a couple of butcher-wrapped human organs, a full set of severed fingers, and a bag full of centipedes – grand total: 11 dollars. What had I been doing with my life before this?

There was actually more I wanted to get, but I’m playing it conservative for now (after all it’s not even technically Phase 1 yet). Dollar Tree, I tip my cap to you. You had me at Night Creatures.

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